No, I won't trade it for your dad's Mercedes. Not your whole collection of silver wristwatch with embedded Swarovski (that your dad gave, too) and not even the fiscal sum of your dad's non-liquidated assets. I won't give it up even if you will take my life as a change and at gunpoint, you already pulled the trigger halfway.
But I lent it to him. And he "lost" it, or so it seemed. And he promised to pay. But he didn't, maybe because he didn't know what it meant to me. It's fiscal sum by now would worth a speck of dirt. But to me, it's as invaluable as whatever item anyone won't give up for as much as RM30,000,000, let alone a ten thousandth of the price and a 4 months period to raise the sum.
Back then, I was being considerate and generous. I was playing ball with his lies, I was naive. He thought he could talk his way out of paying. And he did - at least virtually. I knew he was bluffing all the way, right from the get-go. From the moment I turned to face him and split open my lips, before I could even let my voice out to ask back for the money, he had LIAR written all over his face. But as unsurpassedly invaluable as it is, I put false hope of gaining it back. Or at least, half the supposed physical value.
Is it really that invaluable?
Oh, of course it's invaluable. Very invaluable indeed! So invaluable that I put false hope of gaining it back. So invaluable I lied to myself that one night it will silently slither right into my grasp for me to find it mine again the moment I wake up from sleep. I'm no philosophy guy. And even if you know my age, you'll most probably laugh your arse off. "Philosophy? He's barely eighteen himself!"
But tell me. If you were diagnosed with colorectal cancer at critical stage, or, heart disease, maybe, what keeps you wanting to stay alive in spite of the fact that you only have 3 months to go? Or if you're a refugee in a country stricken with war and massacre, and you wake up to the daily bombing and trying to sleep hearing your neighbor moan from being slaughtered, or if you were supposedly born into a diasporic race in the middle of a genocide, making a beeline for the shovel of your own grave, what keeps you alive for an extra 2 weeks, 3 months, 6 years or even for the rest of your life that you thought you don't deserve?
False hope!
But I'm not dying, no. But it kept me from taking any of the suppositorily "irrational" and "uncivilized" measures against that bastard and therefore keeping me from getting expelled from the system. And so does "patience", "rationality", "naivety", "inassertivity", "stupidity", "cowardice" and many more synonymous words you can find in your thesaurus which is also available in your local bookstore if you don't have any. Or the library.
And because of all of the above, I managed to finish my secondary education with a decent disciplinary record. Thanks to not laying out a punch or two in his face and for leaving him another chance to reproduce.
This is actually a very unique quiz especially designed to indicate how much you know about me. At some parts, the hints may be obvious, so it's fairly easy.
And the question is: "What is that invaluable belonging of mine that was lost? Who took it away?"
And for the essay section: "Hey wait a minute. I know that guy. I've been looking for him since I was seventeen! What's he doing here? That son of a..." Continue the monologue with your own creativity. And oh, please don't repeat my mistake will you?
No comments:
Post a Comment